Thursday, October 4, 2012

Why You Should Social-Network With Me

two boys 1 jacket
About a hundred (okay at least ten) times a day my students and/or me do or say something bizarre, hilarious and/or just totally indicative of the unique relationship of teacher-student-school. I post what they say and what I say of Facebook. . .And, it is really a lot of fun.

@artfulartsyamy on Twitter

Here are a few of my favorites:

Fabulous Male student: "Ms. J., I'm excited cause Glee is on tonight and Kurt is my favorite!" Same male student (10 mins later): "Ms. J. guess what? I know a gay person."

Student : "it ain't hard to breed a dog. All ya gotta do is give it ice cream and lots of food. It calms them down."

Male Student : "Ms. J. what's a maxi pad?" Me: "Um, it's for ladies only." Student : "Like a tampon?! Nasty!!"

Discussion w/student accused of saying dirty things. Student: "All I said was 'beat the meat.'" Me: "OK. You know that means masturbation, right?" Student [turns red]: "WHAT?!"

"Ms. J. Can we paint a Sacajawea like da Vinci did?"

Ah so it finally happened. A student told me to go "f" myself. Best of luck in life to you dearie.

Student: "ewww! Ms J.! Tell that boy to quit humping the table!"

We invented cereals today for a package design project. One student meant to spell "ninja crunch." I think he was going for "n-i-n-g-a crunch," but he left out a crucial "n" and left a racial slur

Report cards went home today. Student: "I got all A's,B's, C's, and a little bit of F."

Student haiku for typography project: hot wings are the best. The boneless ones are better. Ranch makes it the best.

Dear sixth graders: I don't want to be an alcoholic living in a cardboard box. You have got to calm down. Seriously

Flamboyant student: "I don't know how to clap; I only know how to SNAP!"

Student who overheard me on the phone with a supply distributor: "Wow Ms. J. You like actually sounded professional."

Fundraising student: "Ms. J. are you lonely?" Me: "Uh, no. Where is this going?" Student: "I'm selling cookies and all lonely women like cookies."

Student: "I bet in jail there is a lot of soap on the floor."





2 comments:

  1. I am seriously LMAO at several of them! I once had an elementary student tell me in all seriousness that all white people are evil and I had to remind him that I am indeed white, to which he replied "No, not really." Um, yes, sweetie, I'm paler than snow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahah. I had a student tell me last year that "all white people look the same." When I explained that was a racist statement s/he said: "Well, but it is true. All white people do look the same."

    ReplyDelete