Monday, August 9, 2010

YAY 100 Posts! and Funny Stuff I've Heard in My Classroom

This is my 100th post!

I'm excited. . .For a lot of reasons.

1. I started this blog to document my work for grad school, and I'm loving sharing about both grad work and teachery work here.

2. Next week I start my last semester of grad school (my practicum semester) and it promises to be the least taxing so far (praise all!)

3. It is already the 2nd week of school!

4. I'm teaching 3 years old students through 18 years old students.

See, LOTS of exciting stuff! I don't have any pictures yet, but promise them soon. Instead, I thought I'd give you a list of some of the funniest things I've heard in my classroom in my 6 years of teaching:

- "My golden beaver, I like to pet you."
(in a sing-song voice from a 4th grader about his mask of his totem animal)

- "What?! Since I'm black I must know what crunk is?"
(From the only non-white student in a large private school with regards to racism)

- "THIS is the BEST day of my LIFE!"
(From a 6th grader covered head to toe in papier mache)

- "Asian Pride Wha-What!!"
(do you need an explanation? lol)

- "Ms. J, Check it out! I grew some more pit hair!!!"
(and he grabs his shirt up to show)

- "I didn't steal it. I liberated it."
(a middle school student in response to my questioning him on if he stole the valentine's day present he gave to me from the convienence store which he allegedly robbed earlier that morning.)

- "Grrrrrrr."
(a student spoke to me for most of the year in dog-speak. I could only get him to work when I growled back. for reals.)

- "I'm gonna do my art project on Michelangelo, cause I really like France."
(middle school girl)

- "So, was Van Gogh's girlfriend a ho?"
(high school student after watching a video that mentions Van Gogh's girlfriend gave him a VD.)

- "If you go to art school, do you get to look at lots of naked people?"
(middle school boy considering the advantages of fine arts.)

- "I was gonna ask him if he wanted some water, but I figured his family had had enough for the day."
(a high school student regaling the class about the man who drowned in the lake behind her house. She realized she had offered all the emergency workers water and crackers, but hadn't extended the same offer to the victim's family. This was her explanation.)

- "Steap 1: I got a pencil. Steap 2: I got sum paper. Steap 3: IT HAPPENED!"
(4th grader writing about the process of creating a crayon batik that he titled "The Rockin' Goat."

- "Dear Ms. Jhonson, I hate art. Art is *** and dumb you nasty *** *****. No one lykes you, you gothic looking ***. **** you and ***** art. Sincearly, [student name]"
(a student left this for me on my desk on the 2nd week of my 2nd year of teaching. The starred-out places are the expletives. I have it framed in my house because I think it is soo funny. This student went on to love me quite a bit, and he would also be the one that robbed the quickie mart to bring me a valentines day gift. Misplaced, but sweet.)

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